Return of the Cockblocks

[caco0283]

My good friends I am single again and you know what that means....DATING SEASON!!!!!!! On the old board I just always made a new thread on dates that were worth posting about but I'm going to keep it simple and just post here.

First cockblock of this years dating season happened last night. I blame Tenacious D. So this girl I've been hitting on for awhile calls me up and tells me to go to Brus Room last night....I wanted to say yes but I've been getting shitty every night since last Thursday and I wanted to stay home. She ends up telling me that her 4 girlfriends drove down from Kentucky the night before and they are all going to be there. I was fucked on my quiet evening, this girl is a hottie and she has 4 friends with her and her roomate is going out, who is hot too. I was hoping that 2 of the 4 friends from Kentucky were cute. So I ended up going out there with one of my boys. I get some crunk juice in me to get my mode on. Then the girls show up. Lauren the girl I was hitting on walks in showing off her sexy legs in a sexy skirt. Meridith her roommate walks in looking good as hell. Then another girl shows up, nice chest thats about it....then another walks in behind her, she just makes me want to puke. Then two 14 year old girls walk in and they all walk towards us.

I know you are wondering what this has to do with Tenacious D, just be patient. So it turns out that the girl that makes me want to puke is 28 and has a 14 year old daughter and the other girl is her friend. Yes if you do the math she had her daughter at 14. So I start talking to Lauren and things are going well for me, we set up a date for next week but that didn't seem like it was good enough for her. I was getting a "fuck me" vibe from her. Two lady friends of mine walked in and I started talking to them for a bit, then karaoke started and one of my lady friends put my name up for two songs and I didn't even know. So I hear "is skrony Ronnie here? Where's skrony Ronnie?" So everyone starts yelling at me to go on. Its one thing to make a full of yourself around people you dont know, but when you are at a bar every night and you know everyone THAT SUCKS. So I still have no idea what im singing and then I hear the begining of "Killing in the Name Of" Yeah I might look like Zack de la Rocha but I don't sound like him. It was horrible, I hated it but none the less it was fun and everyone was singing along with me so I don't think they notice how bad it was. Then I start to walk away and Frank E. Oke tells me I have one more song. And its Tenacious D "fuck her gently"
When I get done with that song I walk over to Lauren after getting another drink. She's like "i saw you up there and I didn't like that last song you sang. For one you have a dirty mouth and second that girl put that song on for you and you probaly would want to fuck her gently" Needless to say I went home alone that night.

This is going to be a good season

[thelastgreatman]

Ronnie, you were fucked from the outset. Everyone knows you have no chance with a girl who is in the company of more than two of her girlfriends at the absolute max.

[adamnikyo]

Sounds like your friend cockblocked you, not Tenacious D.

Shouldn't the title be "Return OF the Cockblocks", or are you about to start giving a return on the cockblocks?

[amyzzz]

That girl sounds like a cunt.

[downingthief]

Based on this post Ronnie, I am definitely looking forward to the rest of the season. Happy hunting.

[adamnikyo]

That's a lousy word.

[thelastgreatman]

Seriously, don't blame the D. They were trying to get you laid when they wrote the song.

[Caitlin]

God, I hate dating.

[caco0283]

Ronnie, you were fucked from the outset. Everyone knows you have no chance with a girl who is in the company of more than two of her girlfriends at the absolute max.

wait this is news to me

Sounds like your friend cockblocked you, not Tenacious D.

i know it might look that way but my friend is so damn sexy she has no reason to cockblock me

[invisiblerobots]

You made a full of yourself? Did you eat too much?

[amyzzz]

Can't she cockblock you just by virtue of being sexy, Ronnie?

[phoenixsky]

Caco, every time you tell a story I get this overwhelming feeling that you made it up.

Not that you neccesarily did.

Just sayin'.

[caco0283]

i know thats the sad part....cos its true...if i made it up i would of ended up sleeping with someone instead i came on the board

[caco0283]

so this is what is up on my schedule, Lauren from Kentucky and my neighbor is setting me up on a blind date with this girl that just moved here from Burbank, her name is Elle and she is Jewish

[suprefan]

so this is what is up on my schedule, Lauren from Kentucky and my neighbor is setting me up on a blind date with this girl that just moved here from Burbank, her name is Elle and she is Jewish

Hahahahaha, have fun. What are the odds.

[amyzzz]

i know thats the sad part....cos its true...if i made it up i would of ended up sleeping with someone instead i came on the board
You came on the board?

[invisiblerobots]

http://www.cameras101.com/ItemImages/Mazel_TovL.jpg

[PotVsKtl]

When are you going to come to terms with the fact that the Lord and the Universe do not want you swiping our white women?

You can have the Jew though.

[SojuGorae]

When are you going to come to terms with the fact that the Lord and the Universe do not want you swiping our white women?

You can have the Jew though.

My cousin beat your Lord's wishes. I plan to do so myself... just out of spite of course.

http://a66.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01308/56/05/1308735065_l.jpg

[All That I Am]

Welcome back to the shitty world of dating!

[caco0283]

See I have the feeling that she thinks I'm Jewish, cos the people setting me up on the date are jewish, and they all work with jews and the girl and fucking speak hebrew. Why would a chick the can speak hebrew want a brown mofo like me.

I forgot add to my list Jessica, its not a date but she has many hot friends coming with her to miami in 2 days

[hangthedj112]

Why do all your stories read like crappy erotica?

[caco0283]

i dont read crappy erotica so i wouldnt know....but i do read the good stuff

[downingthief]

See I have the feeling that she thinks I'm Jewish, cos the people setting me up on the date are jewish, and they all work with jews and the girl and fucking speak hebrew. Why would a chick the can speak hebrew want a brown mofo like me.

I forgot add to my list Jessica, its not a date but she has many hot friends coming with her to miami in 2 days

Confirmed hotties, or just speculative?

[amyzzz]

i dont read crappy erotica so i wouldnt know....but i do read the good stuff
Any recommendations...?

[downingthief]

Any recommendations...?

Amy, you just get better and better. :)

[ThomThom]

Caco,

I wouldn't call anybody a cock block in this matter, that girl was a complete cunt for taking a karaoke performance out of proportion. It sounds like she is on your jock heavily though, because she is clearly jealous of other women talking to and/or doing things for you. Be consistent with her and you shall achieve the ultimate goal...

[thelastgreatman]

Jews setting up one of their girls with a hispy?

Sounds like someone needs a gardener. But I'm just suspicious.

[caco0283]

Any recommendations...?

amy you know i was kidding, spanish people dont read books

Amy, you just get better and better. :)
if only her husband could say that

Caco,

I wouldn't call anybody a cock block in this matter, that girl was a complete cunt for taking a karaoke performance out of proportion. It sounds like she is on your jock heavily though, because she is clearly jealous of other women talking to and/or doing things for you. Be consistent with her and you shall achieve the ultimate goal...

shes from kentucky what do you expect

[amyzzz]

amy you know i was kidding, spanish people dont read books

Damn you.

[kimery08]

what do you want from this girl? if all you want to do is fuck her then i guess keep trying. anything else, dont bother. her being upset about the karaoke thing shows she is jealous and insecure. run. but then again, you read about the removal of the nut... there was a lesson there fellas.

[chairmenmeow47]

why on earth would you even want to be with a girl who won't let you talk dirty?!

[Hannahrain]

Or won't acknowledge when something is hilarious, like when you are made to sing karaoke against your will. Seriously, no sense of humor and offended at the drop of a hat? No good.

[full on idle]

bump

[captncrzy]

She does sound like she would end up being a clingy jealous psycho that would tell you she loves you on the second date and try to leave stuffed animals in your room when she comes over.

[PotVsKtl]

Fantastic advice ladies, but I'm pretty sure caco is just trying to bone. The name of the thread is "Return of the Cockblocks" not "Will this particular girl fulfill my emotional needs and be an appropriate life partner?"

[captncrzy]

Yeah, I get that. It doesn't change the fact that she sounds like a clingy jealous psycho. One of those ones that he would pork and then not get rid of.

[caco0283]

i have to say this in my defense.....i don't just want to bone the woman.....granted if all we did is have sex every now and then i'm not going to complain but thats not what im looking for....im looking for someone to end my losing streak with attractive women on the outside but disgusting on the inside....so thanks for the heads up. I didnt look at her as a clingy person but it does make sense, I might as enjoy her until I move on....I talked to the jewish blind date from burbank yesterday (she called me) shes heading to baltimore for the week for her brothers wedding. We might go out a week from tomorrow. I havent spoken to the girl that didnt like me singing Tenacious D, I'll update when I can. I have a feeling I'll run into her at Brus room tonight while I watch the Cavs when their first game.

[kimery08]

do jews date non jews?

[Good Days Last]

Interesting thread.

Kinda like Stef's thread. But with a smaller sense of proper.

[caco0283]

do jews date non jews?

my foster parent is half jewish....does that make me count?

[SojuGorae]

do jews date non jews?

I've been told only self-loathing Jewish men settle down with non-Jews.

My boss is pretty fucked in the head.

He also told me before he got married his mission was to fuck as many gentiles before settling down with a nice Jewish girl.

[kimery08]

i dont know. i guess so.
i dont think it matters.

[kimery08]

nm.

[caco0283]

i dont know. i guess so.
i dont think it matters.

i guess we should find out soon enough....i still think she believes im jewish....but my foster dad is 1/2....he raised me since i was 2.....that shit has to count for something

[kimery08]

i think what actually counts is how active of a jew you are.

[summerkid]

my friend's parents told him that if he didn't marry a jewish girl they'd disown him.

[amyzzz]

Kinda like Scientology.

[caco0283]

my friend's parents told him that if he didn't marry a jewish girl they'd disown him.

well the only funny hat i put on my head is a rubber

[captncrzy]

I've heard that Jewish boys have big weiners....true?

[kingsblend420]

Sounds like your friend cockblocked you, not Tenacious D.

Shouldn't the title be "Return OF the Cockblocks", or are you about to start giving a return on the cockblocks?

More like "The Cockblocks Strike Back" or at least "The Cockblock Wars"

[caco0283]

i was in full form tonight my friends

[mob roulette]

Details.

[Jenniehoo]

http://www.acc.umu.se/~zqad/cats/1173277998-1168707391257894.jpg

[caco0283]

no fuck off

[Jenniehoo]

Oh ho ho ho.

Take that shit back or I'll grab you by the tendrils.

[caco0283]

i dont give two fucking shits right now....im drunk and pissed and im going to a bar to find me a midget to fucking kick

[Jenniehoo]

Dammit. You started this fucking thread - I didn't.

This is you: "Let me tell you stories"
This is me: "OK - please tell me stories"
This is you: "Fuck off - I won't tell you stories."
This is me: "Bummer - I'm confused - what of said stories?"
This is you: "I'll fucking KILL YOU. KICK MIDGETS. VIOLENT DOOR SLAMMING AND LIKE THINGS THAT ARE UNPLEASANT."
This is me: "Ronnie, stop - I just want to hear what's going on with you."
This is you: "DRUNKEN LOUD NOISES YOUR MOTHER'S A WHORE."
This is me: "Play that fucking air guitar, son. Play it until nothing hurts anymore."

Yeah. That's how it goes.

[suprefan]

The jewish girl didnt like him.






















(I'm just guessing)

[caco0283]

Dammit. You started this fucking thread - I didn't.

This is you: "Let me tell you stories"
This is me: "OK - please tell me stories"
This is you: "Fuck off - I won't tell you stories."
This is me: "Bummer - I'm confused - what of said stories?"
This is you: "I'll fucking KILL YOU. KICK MIDGETS. VIOLENT DOOR SLAMMING AND LIKE THINGS THAT ARE UNPLEASANT."
This is me: "Ronnie, stop - I just want to hear what's going on with you."
This is you: "DRUNKEN LOUD NOISES YOUR MOTHER'S A WHORE."
This is me: "Play that fucking air guitar, son. Play it until nothing hurts anymore."

Yeah. That's how it goes.


jennie i love you!!! that made me head hurt more cos i was laughing so fricken loud....so yeah i think i called gabe last night when i was in full form drunkness with the girl from kentucky....ill give details of my evening later....lets just say i planted the seed for sometime nice to come

[mountmccabe]

lets just say i planted the seed for sometime nice to come

Condoms man, condoms.

[PotVsKtl]

bLqmf8x7rLI