need anyones/everyones help...

[vogina]

um, don't know how to put this so...

my good friends dad shot himself in the head last night. the only fortinate part about this is my friend wasn't there to see it.

what do we do guys? how do we console him? his own family i know, to him, wont help to much in consoling him and giving him some piece of mind, so thats why the friends he has are in a panic trying to figure out what the fuck to do because we are extremely worried about how he is dealing with this, he needs someone to help him.

has anyone had experience with some kind of tragedy like this before? i know this sounds bad, but where do we start. everyone i know is calling each other asking what the hell do we do..

[J~$$$]

Get your ass over there and let him cry it out. Let him let loose, let him do most of the talking. Just watch over him so his doesn't do anything irrational. Its all about letting him deal with it in his own way but being there for him as much as possible.

[TomAz]

yes. just be with him. doesn't take anything more than that.

[anti-square]

That's terrible, sorry to hear that, especially for your friend. My suggestion would be to make time to be there for your friend in person. This will be a moment of deep depression, and I think it would serve him to have someone there for him at any given time during this traumatic time.

[anti-square]

You can probably rotate time with your friends, since most people aren't expected to stop their obligations all at once...

[captncrzy]

That's sad. Just be there and listen. Don't talk; there's nothing you can say.

[RotationSlimWang]

Be there when he wants you to, understand when he doesn't. We all experience death alone to some degree--completely when it is our own, partially when it is those we love. Friends can be a good distraction, but there's probably going to be periods where he just doesn't want to hear anyone.

Also, don't be afraid to be deathly serious all the time. Different people react differently, but sometimes tragedy produces a craving for laughter like nothing else in the world. When he wants to talk about the horror and the sorrow, let him. When he doesn't, talk about anything else.

[shoegazer76]

That really sucks & I'm sorry to hear about anyone taking their life. My very good homie just hung himself 3 weeks ago. He had everything looks, women, talent, the whole bit. I found out from my friend I met right before we wen't into Bonnaroo. I cried with her for the 2 hour wait in line to our campsite. It almost ruined my Bonnaroo weekend but I managed to get drunk enough to forget about if here & there. He was a badass graffiti artist & would always try n get me to go paint trains with him. He loved underground ol school punk (DK, Clash, GG Allin, etc.) & Rockabilly. I've slept alright but I haven't really been able to function very well during the day. I've found that the only thing that really calms me is remembering the good times we had. That is my only advice that you can give to your friend. Those memories are more valuable & will see him through this difficult time more so than any other tangible remnants of his father. You are a good friend for being so concerned about him. May a higher power & those good memories see him through this difficult time. Take Care as best as possible.

[TomAz]

also, have all your friends pitch in and get him a really nice high class hooker. That'll do wonders.

[J~$$$]

mmmmm.....high class hookers.

[canexplain]

Get your ass over there and let him cry it out. Let him let loose, let him do most of the talking. Just watch over him so his doesn't do anything irrational. Its all about letting him deal with it in his own way but being there for him as much as possible.


i would go with that ... if he wants you to talk, so some words about the good times you remember, if he just wants to talk and vent, just sit there and let him cr****

[TomAz]

actually just the fact of having people around is the most important part. he may not want to talk at all, or he may just want to watch tv, or something. shit like this happens and the first thing you feel is isolation, like the world's cut off, so just having friends around helps. shows that you give a shit. doesn't need to be deep talk.

[Calamity Jane]

Way to ask the internet.

[breakjaw]

actually just the fact of having people around is the most important part. he may not want to talk at all, or he may just want to watch tv, or something. shit like this happens and the first thing you feel is isolation, like the world's cut off, so just having friends around helps. shows that you give a shit. doesn't need to be deep talk.

This is real good advice.And Ron's also.I have not had something like this occur to me or one of my friends,so I didn't quite know what to tell you.I have had a lot of family die lately,and Tom's right about the disconnected thing.I think the truly dangerous thing is that children of suicides often attempt or commit suicide.A professional should definitely be consulted,no matter what the cost,it's life and death.

[J~$$$]

almosts.