So I tried to kill myself...

[Deviate_420]

Yes sir, you read it correctly.Tried to inject a bunch of OxyContin and I failed to administer enough. The cleaning lady at the hotel I was at found my body with the needle still in my arm, blood running down my arm and collecting into a little pool in my hand. i was rushed to the ER and to my surprise, I was revived. I awoke and was immediately asked for insurance information then moved to a suicide watch ward. i would say all in all my time in LA was in interesting one. And to think all I wanted to do was go to Amoeba records and have a good time..

Needless to say, I am back home, recovering and have once again flaked on Randy. Fuck LA

[rage patton]

Dear Lord... good to hear you are better man!

Did you pick up any good records atleast?

[menikmati]

always gotta have that insurance info

[Deviate_420]

Dear Lord... good to hear you are better man!

Did you pick up any good records atleast?

Did not even make it to Amoeba.

[Alchemy]

Rock and roll!

[Mr.Nipples]

Did you pick up any good records atleast?

http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t39/RetardoTronFiveThousand/Suicide-Suicide-326175.jpg
all joking aside...im glad youre ok but please get help...people do care...

[full on idle]

why would you care about fucking Wang over if you meant to die beforehand anyways?

[TomAz]

Frankie: Boy. You wanna talk about some pain? I bought one o' them linoleum knives the other day, you know?

Willie: With the double edge?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: Yeah?

Frankie: So, I go home, you know, and I spread my toes apart and I just start sawing, back and forth and back and forth, you know?

Willie: Mm hmm.

Frankie: And I take a little thing o' Tobasco sauce, you know?

Willie: Yeah.

Frankie: And just dump it on there. Talk about a hotfoot, mister! Boy, that was rough.

Willie: Yeah, I know what you mean. You know, the other day, I took one o' them, uh--?

Frankie: Meat thermometers?

Willie: Yeah! And I just shoved it into my ear, you know? As far as it could go, you know? But then I took one o' them, uh--?

Frankie: Ball-peen hammers?

Willie: Right. And just whacked it a few times right in there, you know.

Frankie: Boy, that must smart.

Willie: I know! I HATE when THAT happens.

Frankie: You know what I hate?

Willie: What?

Frankie: I go into the kitchen, I open the drawer, you know?

Willie: Uh huh?

Frankie: And I take out a, uh--

Willie: Carrot scraper?

Frankie: Right. And I stick it up my nose, you know, and I'm rootin' it around, and, you know, gettin' all the mucus membranes out o' there, you know? And then I take one o' them, uh--?

Willie: Mentholated eucalyptus cough drops?

Frankie: Right. And I stick it-- wedge it up there, you know? I take a couple o' whiffs, boy. Heh, ya feel like your head's gonna explode.

Willie: Boy, isn't THAT the truth? It's like the other night. I'm in the attic and I got a bunch o' mousetraps, ya know?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: And, for bait, I used a big piece of, uh--

Frankie: Camembert?

Willie: Right. So, so I set the trap, right? A-a-a-a-and I wanna see if the trap was gonna work, right? So I got the Camembert in there.

Frankie: Right.

Willie: But every time I went to taste the cheese, the thing came down right on my tongue! ... I'm tellin' ya -- after forty, fifty times, I - I - I couldn't even feel the cheese, much less taste it. I hate when THAT happens, I'll tell ya that.

Frankie: Boy, you know what I hate? I hate-- I got a gross o' them, uh--?

Willie: Razor blades?

Frankie: No.

Willie: Fish hooks?

Frankie: No.

Willie: Ah?

Frankie: Thumb tacks.

Willie: Ah! Yeah.

Frankie: Right?

Willie: Yeah.

Frankie: So I bring 'em home, you know, and I sprinkle 'em all out over the floor, you know?

Willie: Points up?

Frankie: Right.

Willie: Uh huh.

Frankie: Then I strip down to the nude and I just ROLL back and forth across the room, ya know? Stickin' in all over my body. Then I jump in a hot tub and just soak.

Willie: Mm hmm.

Frankie: Hate that.

Willie: Sounds very painful.

Frankie: Very painful.

[Deviate_420]

why would you care about fucking Wang over if you meant to die beforehand anyways?

I had other things happened while In la that caused me to feel the way I did. Perhaps tomorrow i will give all the back story.

[thinnerair]

Yeahhh, torture motherfucker what?
[Torture nigga what?]
What?
I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin tie you to a fuckin bedpost
with your ass cheeks spread out and shit
Right?
Put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there
for like a half hour
Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like
Tssssssss

[Yeah, I'll fuckin
Yeah I'll fuckin lay your nuts on a fuckin dresser
Just your nuts layin on a fuckin dresser
And bang them shits with a spiked fuckin bat]
Ooooohhhh
[Whassup? BLAOWWW!!]

I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin pull your fuckin tongue out your fuckin mouth
and stab the shit with a rusty screwdriver, BLAOWW!!
[I'll fuckin]

[I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin hang you by your fuckin dick
off a fuckin twelve sto-story building out this motherfucker]

I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin
sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you
and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you

[full on idle]

I had other things happened while In la that caused me to feel the way I did. Perhaps tomorrow i will give all the back story.

boring.

[thinnerair]

i hurt myself today...to see if i still feel...

[JustSteve]

I had other things happened while In la that caused me to feel the way I did. Perhaps tomorrow i will give all the back story.

you are looking for livejournal, not coachjournal.

[luckyface]

Good thing you didn't succeed. Just think of all of the great threads you would have missed here.

[4Ransom]

jesus, i hate people that try to kill themselves and fail. first of all, you are the biggest pussy bitch ever for even trying. all suicide does is cause pain for everybody you love, just cuz you cant stick out the tough times. and then to top it off, you cant even do that one thing right. suicide is for bitches, and failed suicide is so much worse i cant even think of a good burn for it. and whats worse is when you bitches fail at failing, then you come tell your story on the internet for sympathy. failed suicide either means you are dumb as dirt, or its just a cry for help. im guessing its the latter.

all that being said, please dont try again, cuz if you actually succeed this time, i will feel really bad like maybe it was my fault, lol. serious, just go see a shrink or talk to a friend. fuck, if you dont have any friends, post on a fuckin message board about it.

[kingsblend420]

This thread is BOOOOOOOOOOOOoooring.

[DeltaSigChi4]

The next time you feel the way that you do, be sure to track down and kill sexecutioner first. Thanks.

E

[Deviate_420]

I did not make this to gain sympathy, but rather tell a story about how a trip to Amoeba records can end up deadly..

[corbo]

im gonna take a guess and say it was because of a girl

[RotationSlimWang]

In the sense that Deviate has a vag, yes, you are correct.

[betao]

jesus, i hate people that try to kill themselves and fail. first of all, you are the biggest pussy bitch ever for even trying. all suicide does is cause pain for everybody you love, just cuz you cant stick out the tough times. and then to top it off, you cant even do that one thing right. suicide is for bitches, and failed suicide is so much worse i cant even think of a good burn for it. and whats worse is when you bitches fail at failing, then you come tell your story on the internet for sympathy. failed suicide either means you are dumb as dirt, or its just a cry for help. im guessing its the latter.

all that being said, please dont try again, cuz if you actually succeed this time, i will feel really bad like maybe it was my fault, lol. serious, just go see a shrink or talk to a friend. fuck, if you dont have any friends, post on a fuckin message board about it.

....
wow...

im speechless

[rage patton]

Wow... some people are pretty heartless around here.

[superfiction]

yeah thats harsh. im glad youre ok man.

[BROKENDOLL]

Harsh? You guys are fuckin' cold hearted! Deviate~ No one is worth giving up on life for when so many others care...and those that don't seem to care? Fuck 'em!!!

[DeltaSigChi4]

Yeah, Deviate. Come with me to the UK. Arcade Fire shows galore!

E

[DeltaSigChi4]

And fuck Amoeba.

E

[RotationSlimWang]

ODing is for pussies. Suicide is for selfish pussies. Suicide via OD = selfish pussy^2

[xbnmx]

What the fuck where is all this shit coming from

[matildawong]

jesus christ, deviate.

[fatbastard]

I was going to complain about only getting 2 1/2 hours sleep last night. Some people have bigger things to worry about.

[amyzzz]

I hope you feel better, deviate.
You want a Sisters of Mercy postcard?

[Stefinitely Maybe]

Who knew Owen Wilson read the board?

[amyzzz]

I knew.

[marooko]

deviate, chill with that crap. noone who knows and loves you wants to hear youre dead. noone on the board wants to hear their coachella friend that they never met, but hang out with at every coachella is dead. seriously.

[J~$$$]

Mint chip ice cream is the best. I had a mint chip ice cream shake on the way to work this morning, it was jummy. This thread is really emo.

[faxman75]

I have to agree that attempting and failing at suicide is pretty dumb. Yes if you killed yourself, the living would be sad and you would be missed but it's just a douchey move to "attempt" and then say you are recovering. All of the sudden you get sympathy, shoulnd't your suicide be a private thing, especially if you failed? Why tell people? I don't understand it really, the people giving the sympathy that is. Maybe it's a bit of codependency, I dunno but why give sympathy to someone who doesn't give a damn about themselves or the people they are going to affect? If you are going to do it, then do it. Kill yourself, we mourne the death and everyone moves on. The whole attempting is a vicious cycle of sympathy and attention.

I would feel bad if you killed yourself but obviously if you were determined and really wanted to leave life you would do it the right way and life must be so miserable that the end is obviously needed so you don't have to feel the way you do anymore.

[J~$$$]

I believe in the power of unicorns.

[TomAz]

Mint chip ice cream is the best. I had a mint chip ice cream shake on the way to work this morning, it was jummy. This thread is really emo.

Ice cream for breakfast? jeez.

I can't tell if this thread is genuinely emo or ironically emo.

[betao]

next time you're feeling down, go to outback steakhouse and get their cheese fries with ranch dressing... my god those are good.

srsly.

[J~$$$]

Ice cream for breakfast? jeez.

I can't tell if this thread is genuinely emo or ironically emo.

Its alias emo.

Hell yeah its soy too. Cow milk is the fucking disgusting.

[Grandma]

If I had to do myself in, I would overdose on prunes.

[J~$$$]

Whats happenin G-mah? What are the plans for the weekend?

[Grandma]

Im going to an arts and crafts fair on Saturday, then on sunday im going with a friend of mine to a ron popeil informercial taping. What are you up to this weekend?

[thinnerair]

cougar!!!

[J~$$$]

Im joining wheel watchers.

[RotationSlimWang]

Thank God for Grandma bringing some feminine wile over to this thread--it's been gayer than eight guys fucking nine guys since its inception.

[thinnerair]

dudes kissing dudes. forever.

[thinnerair]

Dont kill yourself. Cheer up, pussy. Get a hobby. Do this:

Martha Stewart Death Metal Party Band looking for...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: comm-442660112@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-10-07, 4:44PM EDT


YOU!

Vocalist and keyboardist looking for talented musicians to complete cover band line-up that will play hardcore versions of... amongst many artists... John Mayer, the Dave Matthews Band, Kenny G, the Eagles, and innumerable other songs that are just screaming for that Sexy Martha Stewart blend of death metal fury and homespun goodness.

Drummers: must have ridiculous drum set, love NEIL PEART, and have intense desire to bring pointlessly large drum sets to every gig. The faster you can play beats on the double bass kick, the better.

Guitarists: must have musicality sensitivity to shred ruthlessly over EACH and EVERY song they have EVER PLAYED.

Bassists: must have ability to show up on time AND not be closet guitarists.

All ages and genders feel free to apply. We only request that you are as serious as us, have the gear, the time, and the passion to annihilate time-honored classics like 'your body is a wonderland', 'desparado', and 'crash'.

[Pasketti]

If I went all the way to LA and didn't go to Amoeba I'd probably want to kill myself too!

[RotationSlimWang]

dudes kissing dudes. forever.

That's the best thing I've heard today that Thom Yorke wasn't involved in.

[J~$$$]

Martha Stewart Death Metal Party Band coachella 08.

[TomAz]

That's the best thing I've heard today that Thom Yorke wasn't involved in.

to your knowledge, you mean.

[RotationSlimWang]

to your knowledge, you mean.

Thom Yorke kissing dudes, you mean?

To hope... perchance, to dream?

[BROKENDOLL]

deviate, chill with that crap. noone who knows and loves you wants to hear youre dead. noone on the board wants to hear their coachella friend that they never met, but hang out with at every coachella is dead. seriously. Hurry up Coachella 2008! A group hug is long overdue!!!

[J~$$$]

ewwwwww.....

[thinnerair]

srsly

[BROKENDOLL]

Okay, fuck it then...How 'bout a quick spin of "Together...?"

[J~$$$]

ewwwww.....

[thinnerair]

srsly

[rage patton]

Martha Stewart Death Metal Party Band coachella 08.

See you there!

[RotationSlimWang]

How about Thom Yorke making out with dudes in a big group hug while fucking Daft Punk plays?



Alright, that's enough, I need some pussy now pronto.

[BROKENDOLL]

:dumbo

[bug on your lip]

Alright, that's enough, I need some pussy now pronto.

http://coachella.com/forum/image.php?u=1840&dateline=1172852336

[marooko]

alright, then just a simple circle jerk.

[Deviate_420]

I posted this to make lite of an unlite situation. Believe it or not, I tend to find this board therapeutic in a sense that none of you know who I am, and I can kindda vent, and express my love of Jam Bands without tarnishing my reputation. Trying to kill myself was lame and emo I know, however at the time I tried to do it I felt extremely hopeless, sad, and selfish. The fact that i can usually achieve results in my life, yet was unable to kill myself was kindda like a big black dude punching me in the face, and saying "look nigga, snap the fuck out of it and pull your shit together".

Delta, when are you going to Europe? Although the Arcade Fire is not a substantial reason to go, I would love to get out of the country and a reason to go to Europe is just that, a reason to go to Europe.

Amy, I would love your sisters of mercy postcard.

Randy and to all you other people, although I may say I hate you all, You all have a place in my heart, albeit a very small place, I have become quite fond of you all.

All punctuation mistakes aside in this incoherent rambling of a post, I heart you all and maybe now Coachella 2008 and the great people of goldenvoice will feel bad enough for me and get Sunny Day Real Estate back together and co headline with the smashing Pumpkins on Saturday.....Just Sayin'

[bug on your lip]

maybe now Coachella 2008 and the great people of goldenvoice will feel bad enough for me and get Sunny Day Real Estate back together and co headline with the smashing Pumpkins on Saturday.....

if only PFFFFFFFFF had a heart

[J~$$$]

I hate killing spiders. Im always scared they are going to pounce on my face at the last moment.

[bug on your lip]

that was yer mom's pubes

[marooko]

I hate killing spiders. Im always scared they are going to pounce on my face at the last moment.

fuck man!!! i tried to kill a black widow a few weeks ago, it fell of the wall and i didnt se it crawling away anywhere, and it wasnt on the bottom of my shoe. i still feel like im gonna get bit or something.

[J~$$$]

that was yer mom's pubes

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c193/mmmmdoughnuts/tee-hee.jpg

Or tha chinstrap.

[BROKENDOLL]

Did you say you found this board therapuetic?

[TomAz]

killing spiders is bad luck

[J~$$$]

Getting bit by spiders is good luck?

[BROKENDOLL]

Not if you feel lke killing something...then it becomes therapuetic.

[J~$$$]

ewwwww.........

[algunz]

I tried to kill a spider the other day and as I mustered up the courage, it turned and stared me down. I chickened out.

Now that's a pussy!!!

[BROKENDOLL]

Bit by spiders= shit out of luck.

[thinnerair]

I saw Jeremy Enigk perform last night @ Highline Ballroom, a tiny venue in Manhattan. He was spectacular. It was just him and an acoustic...and then him playing some keys. He did 'In Circles' and it was absolutely amazing. The dude's voice is just absurd!

[J~$$$]

pics?

[BROKENDOLL]

I had a scorpion do that once...Cracked my foundation with the hammer I used to fight back!

[BROKENDOLL]

Whoa, whoa,whoa! I think the spider talk is freakin' Je$$$ out!

[J~$$$]

No. You freak me the fuck out.

[BROKENDOLL]

From Deviates Drama to circle jerks, spiders and concert footage...Gotta Love this thread!

[BROKENDOLL]

I hate killing spiders. Im always scared they are going to pounce on my face at the last moment.

that was yer mom's pubes

fuck man!!! i tried to kill a black widow a few weeks ago, it fell of the wall and i didnt se it crawling away anywhere, and it wasnt on the bottom of my shoe. i still feel like im gonna get bit or something.

I tried to kill a spider the other day and as I mustered up the courage, it turned and stared me down. I chickened out.

Now that's a pussy!!!

No. You freak me the fuck out. And this conversation didn't seem freaky to you? Fuck you J~$$$! May an 8 legged creature cross your path sometime today!

[matildawong]

Deviate, how are you doing now?

[DeltaSigChi4]

Soon, homie:

http://www.coachella.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12137

Get on board.

E

[DeltaSigChi4]

Deviate is going to be doing outstanding when Deviate is following Arcade Fire on their last tour for the next few years. Oh, and Clinic. Arcade Fire + Clinic > ALL.

E

[RotationSlimWang]

Delta, I'll take any action on whether or not Deviate flakes on any plans he makes with you, offering you 100-1 odds ahead of time, blind.

[DeltaSigChi4]

1000,00 to make 100,000,00?

You have the vault size to handle this type of wager?

E

[RotationSlimWang]

Sure, but it's irrelevant--I could give you 10,000-1 odds, it's still a lead pipe cinch in my favor.

[DeltaSigChi4]

All I would have to do is place the investment on the event in, then use a FRACTION of the ticket value to fly to Deviate, and bankroll Deviate's entire way through the trip. And cash the ticket upon return. 95,000 in pure profit.

E

[RotationSlimWang]

You're thinking like a gambler dealing with a logical game--this is your failing. You making the bet or not, pansy?

[DeltaSigChi4]

I'm not going to place a wager at a defaulting book.

It's like buying war bonds for the Confederacy.

E

[RotationSlimWang]

I have some on ebay right now if you're interested.

[PotVsKtl]

I tried to kill myself 4 times while reading this thread.

[Jenniehoo]

I hope you're okay LOL!

[miscorrections]

<3 <3

[RotationSlimWang]

I tried to kill myself 4 times while reading this thread.

Pot v. Skittles was careful to only inject enough misdirected sympathy to get him a trip in the ambulance, not enough to actually make his heart stop in protest.

[whynotsmile99]

fuck LA? Fuck you. End yourself

ehh, maybe not actually.

[RotationSlimWang]

Um... no, fuck LA is correct. Fuck here. But way to have every concert and movie, LA. Aside from that, you smoke metropolitan pole.

[luckyface]

I have always been of the mind that if there were about 8 million less people here, this would be a great city to live in.

[RotationSlimWang]

Especially if you could choose which ones to disintegrate.

Line up, excessive-hair-gel douchebags!

Get on the train, chiahuahua-carrying rich bitches!

[TomAz]

Randy's not a big believer in diversity.

[RotationSlimWang]

I'm a big believer in diversity, except in the case of diversions that I don't like--those must be made into Volkswagens like my ancestors were. =)

[Yablonowitz]

Randy was the one who earlier brought up deviate's potential suicide (with prodding from me). So Deviate responds by starting a thread about it...makes sense to me, there were a few people who were wondering.

[faxman75]

This thread is so fucking emo. You are all celebrating a giant failure. He didn't do it. He failed. Very sad that he would attempt and even sadder that he failed at it.

[TomAz]

but yablo said it was ok!!!!!!!

[DeltaSigChi4]

LA sucks. Even Win Butler thinks so.

E

[Deviate_420]

This thread is so fucking emo. You are all celebrating a giant failure. He didn't do it. He failed. Very sad that he would attempt and even sadder that he failed at it.

Lol i think that your post are the funniest.

[meyouseek]

Dude, suicide is so 90's.

Murder in the 00's!!

[All That I Am]

The cleaning lady at the hotel I was at found my body with the needle still in my arm, blood running down my arm and collecting into a little pool in my hand.

I'm calling bullshit. How in the hell did you know all these little tiny details if you were in a near death o.d.

[Jenniehoo]

Somewhere there's a cleaning lady message board with a thread called "So this guy tried to kill himself..."

And a detailed summary of how a mix of baking powder and Sprite can get blood out of a carpet.

All aboard the train to hell.

[full on idle]

I will have your babies.

[kreutz2112]

At least this isnt happening to you:

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2007/10/hornfaceWN_450x350.jpg

link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=69680&in_page_id=2)

[Yablonowitz]

but yablo said it was ok!!!!!!!

Blow me. I'm just saying it was already a known subject matter. You overextend sometimes, cupie doll.

[weltschmerz]

The thought has crsed my mind.

[All That I Am]

At least this isnt happening to you:

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2007/10/hornfaceWN_450x350.jpg

link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=69680&in_page_id=2)

How long do you let that shit grow before you take the scissors to it. Damn

Oh well i know someone who doesn't have to dress up for halloween.

[fatbastard]

420, how's it going?
http://www.limbos.org/suicide/suicide/suicide2002.jpg

[RotationSlimWang]

You need to try harder, Deviate. C'mon, you can do it, sweetie. Just think of something other than fucking up for a change.

[algunz]

How 'bout you think of being something other than an asshole for a change, Randy?

I guess your pretty bent about being left high and dry, as far as your drug situation, while someone was diverted by thoughts of suicide.

[PotVsKtl]

LE06lqT0Y2g

[nationocean]

pretty awesome thread.

http://loscuatroojos.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/wrong-suicide.jpg

[CalmerThanYou]

fuck. this thread is intense


bmx posted in it.

[WastedTime]

Yes sir, you read it correctly.Tried to inject a bunch of OxyContin and I failed to administer enough. The cleaning lady at the hotel I was at found my body with the needle still in my arm, blood running down my arm and collecting into a little pool in my hand. i was rushed to the ER and to my surprise, I was revived. I awoke and was immediately asked for insurance information then moved to a suicide watch ward. i would say all in all my time in LA was in interesting one. And to think all I wanted to do was go to Amoeba records and have a good time..

Needless to say, I am back home, recovering and have once again flaked on Randy. Fuck LA

Sorry, but as of about 2 months ago my consults costs you $80/session, and unless your Delta insured, you need to make arrangements with your healthcare provider, and until payments are made, perscriptions cannot be filled.

[Young blood]

Sirius XM Radio Preparing Possible Bankruptcy Filing.

lol.

[Blinken]

What the fuck kinda bump is that J

[BlackSwan]

An awesome one.

[Jon Blazed]

If I had to do myself in, I would overdose on prunes.

i have to sig this

[Cheddar's Cousin]

http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk2/AnubisTXaKaAL/Suicide.jpg

[marooko]

anyone who read this thread care to sum it up? 3 sentences max please.

[humanoid]

anyone who read this thread care to sum it up? 3 sentences max please.

suicide attempt

didn't work

a bunch of people feigning concern over internetz, others cracking tasteless, yet funny jokes

[marooko]

reason?

and thank you.

[Monklish]

reason?

and thank you.

Reason = douchebag.

[zajaa]

yikes